It's only everywhere!
The bedroom in my new pad has a saloon style door. Each side swings both ways. The other night as I lay myself to sleep, I noticed that I'd left one panel swung open. I motioned to get out of bed to close it, but I stopped. I figured if an assassin came to kill me while I slept, I didn't want the sound of the door to wake me. I closed my eyes, comforted by the knowledge that, should I die, I wouldn't see it coming.
In the light of day, I laughed at how insane I had been. Closing the door was the best course of action. Firstly, any assassin sent to kill me wouldn't be hindered by a closed door. And should a bumbling assassin be sent for whatever reason, any warning would give me a chance to subdue the hapless intruder.
I get anxious about death sometimes. When my mind goes blank, such as during the clip packages on So You Think You Can Dance Canada, my mind wanders to all the ways my neck might get snapped by accident. Movies make snapping necks look so easy. I should remind myself that it's usually very strong, muscular men who do most of the neck-snapping on film. I wonder if the assassin might break into my room to snuggle? I hope the closed door isn't discouraging.
Interestingly, I was offended by my dad's suggestion that a someone might hire a discount assassin to kill me, yet I'm perfectly happy with the notion that killing me takes slightly less skill that opening a door silently.
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"People die all the time, just like that. [snap] Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, goodnight!" - Homer Simpson |
Its interesting that while you're lying in bed thinking about who may or may not come in to snuggle/ murder you, you go to Assassins. I think that shows good self esteem, because if you're going to be assassinated, it means you're important enough to deserve it!
ReplyDeleteLately my mind has been going to evil cowboy mummies, ala Bubba Hotep (have you seen that movie? really, really bizarre), and the usual run of the mill serial killers. Never an assassin though.